Top 10 Bogan Barbie hits

1) Am I ever gonna see your face again – The Angels

     Bogans love the Angels, no doubt about that but there’s one song in particular that unites them like drunken sailors.  Am I ever gonna see your face again, this Song goes off in every Australian pub and backyard Barbie, Particularly with the Bogan. The Famous song line and title “Am I ever gonna see your face again” is always and I do mean ALWAYS followed up with “NOWAY GET F@#KED, F@#K OFF” screamed loud and proud. This song is a must for every Bogan Barbie, preferably played after a few brews, the party will scream into action as guests bounce around over this little number.

2) Bad Boy for Love – Rose Tattoo

Anything Rose Tattoo or Angry Anderson will be a hit at any Bogan Barbie.  One song however we can all agree will definitely keep the Bogans singing, Bad Boy for love. Every Barbie and pub I’ve been to in Bogan Australia will play this song, and every Bogan in ears range belts out the tune.   “30 days in the county jail, let me out and I just wanted to wail” a line many a Bogan can relate starts this Bogan favourite, then backs that up with a Bogans favourite past time “Some fool tried to hold me down, I got drunk and I ripped up the town”.  “I’m a bad boy, a bad boy for love” Bogans are bad boys, Bad boys for love…….

3) Khe Sanh – Cold Chisel

It’s always been a wonder why this chisel classic is considered an Aussie anthem and much loved favourite of the Bogan, what with it being about a Vietnam veteran who can’t stand to call Australia home and all.  Neither the less we all love Khe Sanh and find ourselves screaming out the lyrics drunk at the pub on a Friday night, like we on some sort of tight schedule to make the last plane out of Sydney.  Realistically I don’t think we listen to the lyrics much and the song is more loved for its country style and the epic vocals of Mr Jimmy Barnes, no doubt this song will be a massive repeat hit for any Aussie Bogan Barbie.

4) Run to Paradise – Choirboys

The song starts with a familiar tune as Bogan ears prick around the pub or backyard Barbie, then BAM! “BABY, you were always gonna be the one, you only ever did it just for fun, but you run to paradise” the Bogans unite in a drunken singalong.  I figure they can relate, with the next lines being “Jenny, I’ll meet you at the grocery store, you don’t need a friend when you can score, you run to paradise” and “ Jonny, we were always best of friends, stick together and defend, but you run to paradise” or later in the song “Jesus says it’s gonna be alright, he’s gonna pat my back, so I can walk in the light, you don’t mind if I abuse myself, so I can hold my head up” it’s no wonder the Bogan loves this classic, they abuse their bodies daily. But that’s none of my business.

5) Down Under – Men at Work

I think its fair self-explanatory why Bogans sing this number loud and proud, Bogans are very proud Aussies so any song about Australia is a hit, but this song is more about a travelling fried unit who keeps getting asked if he’s from “the land down under” no wonder it’s a bogan favourite.   The song starts off with the lyrics “Traveling in a fried-out combie, on a hippie trail, head full of zombie” so in other words high and so are Bogans, Bogans love common ground when it comes to their songs and singers.  The guy who gave him a vegemite sandwich said “I come from a land down under, where beer does flow and men chunder” yes, they sure do.  “Lyin’ in a den in Bombay, with a slack jaw and not much to say” we’ve all been there brother “I said to the man, are you trying to tempt me? Because I come from the land of plenty”   and no Bogan can argue with that.

6) I’m gonna be (500 miles) – The Proclaimers

This one’s great, Bogan legs will stomp along to this tune while they belt out the lyrics “But I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walk a thousand miles to fall down at your door” it’s rather hilarious to watch I mean anyone who knows a bogan knows they wouldn’t walk 500 miles for a beer and if they did, it’d go more along the lines of this “But if I could walk 500 miles, then I would get dropped off right back home, just to be that man who went a thousand miles to pass out on your floor” but you never know there could be a Bogan out there whos walked a 500 miles or maybe even a thousand, regardless of that though you can count on this song to be a smash hit.

7) Gimme Head – The Radiators

“Gimme head baby, Gimme head like you did just last night, ah ah ah” And we have the Bogans attention, a good sex related classic at a Bogan party will definitely liven things up and the Radiators nailed it with this one.   “you gimme scratch marks down the length of my back, you gimme teeth marks in the side of my neck, you whisper sweet things, gimme beatings, you wreck my bed, wreck my bed, but best of all, I love, you gimme head” well that sounds a lot like every bogan I’ve mets sex life, no wonder they scream these lyrics out with pride and lack of dignity.

8) Copperhead Road – Steve Earl

Copperhead road, ideal location for the Bogan.  What with the moonshine and Columbian weed what Bogan wouldn’t love it but according to ol’ Charlie “you better stay away from copperhead road”.   Its definitely a song people rarely know the lyrics too I mean the start “well my names John Lee Pettimore” I’ve heard people sing “well my names Colin Kevin Moore” and countless debates around the bonfire as to what’s the correct name he’s saying, if only they could read the old cassettes came with a lyrics booklet inside the cover.

9) Its long way to the top (if you wanna rock n roll) – AC/DC

Bogans love AC/DC, you can’t go wrong with any AC/DC song but for this list we’re look at why Bogan’s absolutely love singing it’s a long way to the top drunk at every Barbie.  I don’t know about you lot but I love the bagpipes rocking out in this number, it works so well I personally wish the bagpipes would get used more often but I’m no rock star what would I know? What I do know is Bogans love to change the lyrics either fun for their kids with “it’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll” or to take the party to a whole new level with “It’s a long way to the docks if you wanna f@#k a mole” or anywhere that works as long as it ends with “If you wanna f@#k a mole” either way you can count on this one being a hit and livening up the party.

10) Enter Sandman – Metallica

From my observations over the years I’ve noticed not many Bogans are huge Metallica fans. They do however love the Black album and in particular Enter Sandman. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who doesn’t know and love this song I just hope they don’t send their kids to bed sleeping with one eye open gripping their pillow tightly.  But at least while single this little number the bogan scores a bonus prayer “now I lay me down to sleep, now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, if I die before I wake, if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take, I pray the lord my soul to take” thank you Metallica now the Bogan has a prayer.

10 Types Of Bogan

Ok so, if you’re Australian or familiar with Australia, then you would have heard of the term “Bogan”.  But what is a Bogan? Well, according to the Oxford English Dictionary a Bogan is defined as being “An unfashionable, uncouth, or unsophisticated person, esp. regarded as being of low social status.” This may be the belief of some but is it true?

 

Truth is, it’s a description of some, possibly even most Australian Bogans but not all.  You may or may not be aware but there are many types of Bogan, different levels or classes of Bogan if you like.  Some Bogans can be spotted a mile away, while others are less obvious to the eye, especially when in work attire.  Though, in saying that, we can all agree Bogans tend to model their own “uniform” which happens to be a good Bogan identifier.

 

The Male Bogan tends to wear, blueys (workmen singles), flannelette shirts, band or slogan t-shirts or singlets, topless,  Australian rules football shorts, tacky worn board shorts, worn and/or ripped denim jeans, fleece track pants, with either thongs (flip flops) or ugg boots, the Bogan males hair is long and messy, generally in the style of a mullet.  The female Bogan will wear anything and usually a hard Bogan to categorise, some opt for the less is best approach to fashion (regardless of her figure), while others opt for the leggings with anything look. Either look is then either accompanied with messy hair and no make-up or an overboard war with Crayola, jingling like an elf.

 

But the hardest of all to categorise, is the Bogan that blends in. Yes that’s right, some Bogans take pride in their public appearance but tend to slip into “Bogan Uniform” at family events.  So, unless you know this Bogan personally, they are hard to identify. Until they open their mouths that is.  You can dress up the Bogan, but you can’t change the Bogan.  So let’s take a look at some of the different types of Bogan we encounter every day.

The Cashed up Bogan

The cashed up Bogan tends to have a good paying job either in the mines, in a bar, hooking/stripping or dealing drugs.  He may also be a “5minute cashed up Bogan” who got he’s money via compo claim or inheritance. We generally spot the cashed up Bogan driving the latest HSV or a classic like the Torana.  He generally lives in the “nicer” areas of the hood. But that being said, the cashed up Bogan has been known to move into posher neighbourhoods.  You will know when a Bogan moves in nearby, burnouts and screaming will increase dramatically.  The cashed up Bogan tends to wear name brand clothes, sunnies and thongs, he can also afford new teeth.  He frequents places like the local pub, races, sporting events and a regular at Macca’s. But thanks to Jetstar, the cashed up Bogan is now a frequent flyer to Bali.

The Bondi Bogan

The Bondi Bogan like the cashed up Bogan generally has a job. Usually earning less than the cashed up Bogan the Bondi Bogan’s tend to live together near the beach in Sydney, however they can be found at other beaches around Australia.  We will usually find the Bondi Bogan wearing name brand board shorts thongs and sunnies, generally with long more Kurt Cobain then mullet hair.  He usually has a dog, and drives a commodore wagon with the back seat down to fit he’s surfboard. The female Bondi Bogan is very similar but wears a bikini, mostly without the board shorts and sometimes without the top.

The Rev Head Bogan

I think it’s safe to say most Rev Head Bogans own a v8, and all have owned one or intend too. They love all things motors, power and speed. They love it, live it and breathe it every day taking any opportunity to do a skid or floor it when out driving. They will be at every local speedway and other related events. They will be at every car show and shine, you can bet your bottom dollar on it, and at home you bet they have the v8’s on. They collect car and porn magazines like women collect Cosmo and women’s day. It’s not just limited to cars either motor bikes, go-carts, trucks, boats, jet-ski, grandads buggy, the list goes on.  The Rev Head likes to wear a cap and sunnies, driving he’s modified sports Holden or refurbished classic with seat wound all the way back, giving the elusion Dicky Knee’s behind the wheel.

The Outback Bogan

The outback Bogan is possibly the roughest of all Bogans. He’s usually not a fan of the city life and is found in more rural locations.  He’s a big wearer of the short, flanny and thong attire but will throw on a bluey if it’s too hot, he wears an Akubra, and boots if he’s going bush.  He usually owns a dog and works on a station, truck driving or roo shooting.  Even if he’s not a roo shooter, he probably owns a rifle and frequents the bush with he’s mates for some VB and hunting. He is a beer fan and can drink most people under the table, he frequents the local outback pub and is a massive fan of country music.  While very loud spoken, abrupt and armed, the outback Bogan is a rather top bloke.

The Middle class Bogan

The middle class Bogan is a family Bogan who can usually be found at macca’s on payday, closely followed by the op shops.  They usually have part-time or casual jobs, smoke a lot of pot and drink mostly bourbon, these family Bogan’s tend to host and attend a lot of backyard BBQ’s and at community events tend to dominate the BBQ areas.  We will usually see the middle class Bogan stressed out, driving a 10-15 year old commodore loaded with screaming kids.

The patriotic Bogan

Our favourite Bogan, the patriotic Bogan. He is all about Aussie pride, he wears Australian flag or Southern Cross shirts and singlets, shorts and thongs, head to toe Australian flag.  They love Southern Cross tattoos and car window stickers, they will also attach a flag to their cars. They tend to attend Australia day events, get drunk and turn racist.  They are often very passionate about Australian political issues but generally have no idea what’s going on but hey they’ll make a sign and attend a protest rally any day.

The Fashion Savvy Bogan

Ok so most if not all Bogans don’t stand well in the fashion industry, some happen to be more horrendous then others, how some of the Bogan trends came about is beyond me.  I can understand the thong being acceptable footwear in Australia but the Ugg Boot? C’mon, we’ve got Bogans wearing jeans and Ugg Boots, Leggings and Ugg Boots, Miniskirts and Ugg Boots, its insane Ugg boot crazy.  Leggings have gone overboard in the Bogan community, no colour combination, no pattern, no crop top is off limits with leggings, it’s a total fashion disaster.  In some shopping centres in Australia, we need to double check the circus isn’t in town.

The Poverty Stricken Bogan

The poverty stricken Bogan is usually the easiest to pick. Usually wearing hand me down, worn and ripped clothing, their unemployed and big uses of the bus and other public transports.  They tend to stick to their local suburbs, frequent charities and smoke a lot of pot even though they can’t afford it. The poverty stricken Bogan will most likely stay this way as they tend to come across as unemployable but they seem to be happy.

The Hillbilly Bogan

The Hillbilly Bogan is very close to a hippy he smokes more pot then he drinks beer, however he is not above the use of any other drug in the book either.  He usually sells used cars, or car parts, grows and sells pot or picks fruit for a living. Most hillbilly bogans have missing teeth, have mullet hair styles, wear band shirts usually older rock/metal bands e.g. Metallica, Pantera, AC/DC, jeans with their butt cracks hanging out (G-strings on show for the lady hillbillies) and are mostly Collingwood supporters. The Hillbilly Bogan is usually seen driving a ford, yes that’s right, believe it or not some Bogans like fords and these Bogans happen to be hillbillies.

The Junkie Bogan

The worst Bogan of all we can all agree is the Junkie Bogan, the regular user of needles and pills.  The Junkie lives for he’s drugs, nothing else matters, everything in life is about their next hit, they will do anything for drugs and I mean ANYTHING.  They have no shame at all about their habit they will talk about it anywhere and everywhere, all of their friends are Junkies and you can count on them stopping by at 6am on payday.  They steal anything from anybody including their own Nan with no remorse, no regret, they care about no-one but themselves. They know every scam out there to get more money, and you can count on a junkie to know exactly what time your money will go into any bank on payday.  You can usually see a junkie wearing raggy, dirty clothes, a shaved or messy hair, and sunken face, dark eyes, covered in sores.  Junkies come pretty darn close to Zombies in appearance.